Dating Tool: Confidence 101

by: Kerr Seth Lordygan

I’m over it. “There’s plenty of fish in the sea,” they say. Well, apparently I have been using the wrong bait. Nobody said dating would be easy, but Hollywood sure likes to paint it that way, doesn’t it? “There’s someone for everyone,” they say. Maybe that ought to translate to, “There’s someone for everyone….as long as you’re a muscled pretty boy with washboard abs, and at least 6 feet tall.”

So how does one get by this unsettling dating stipulation? Are we actually to believe that love will find us when we’re not looking? I think people who say that are normally in happy relationships when they say it. Can we “buy” outer beauty from an online store to match our own inner beauty? Somebody is buying pheromones and weight-loss pills and liposuction and facial restructuring. Hell, now people even get plastic surgery to make them look like a celebrity. Huh??? And you know what? I bet these things work for people. As long as it can build the confidence up in someone, it also strengthens the attraction. So how can we build up that confidence without spending tons of money to people who know how the game works? Sounds like a question for the shrink.

I suppose its all part of why I started up a matchmaking service with a friend of mine in Los Angeles. It can be so frustrating out there. And being “alone” can only make your work day more stressful, it seems. So if I had someone to do the dirty work for me….get me the dating connections, counsel me on why I might not be getting that second date, maybe my frustration level would decrease. So I went into the business….pretty much as a means to find out what can be done to find the perfect one. OK, so nobody’s perfect, but at least maybe I can find a decent one who happens to have similar ethics as myself. Oh, and a killer sense of humour is mandatory. But looking around, nobody was going to help me, a fact that made me feel even more alone! So I had to do it myself. Such is life, right? Part of it might be that I feel a need to always be in control of my own destiny. As long as I am actively pursuing something, I am a success. Yea, that sounds right! So I joined forced with my cohort and we started Let’s Meet Here. Now I’m gonna’ find the one, right?

Wrong!

As it seems unethical to date my own clients (damn, I knew I’d run into some roadblock!), I figured….at least pass on any information I can gather to those who need it (and baby, we all need it!). Granted, I am learning about all this stuff now. It seems every date and every relationship is completely unique. There is no list of do’s and don’ts that applies. But I do know that going into the business has allowed me an increase in confidence that is apparent in me without my even having to think about it. I am starting to really believe that success comes from the active pursuit of a goal, whether or not the goal is achieved. The process in itself builds character…and character is attractive.

So while I learn as I go, I will show as I go too. It is absolutely within my own power to be a success. And the pursuit of achievements is an achievement of its own. However, I have also learned that a little is never enough. And to settle after one’s success is no success at all. Maybe now I’m fishing with the right bait!

By Kerr Seth Lordygan
Director, Lets Meet Here, LLC
www.lets-meet-here.com

Get More Clients From Networking - Follow The Rules Of Dating!

by: Alan Matthews

If you’re a business owner, you probably spend quite a lot of your time at networking events. In fact, it may be the main way you try to get new clients. But do you ever feel that you could get more from these meetings? Do you actually get the results from your networking to justify the amount of time you put into it?

If you don’t find you get a lot of interest from the people you meet, it may be that you’re going about things the wrong way. You may need a new approach.

My own view is that you can’t go far wrong if you think of networking more like dating. The two activities have a lot in common ( although, I must admit, I’m relying on distant memory here ). Here are some things you need to think about.

1. What sort of person do you want to meet?

If your answer is “ anyone “ you risk wasting time talking to a lot of people who just aren’t going to be “ the one “. You also sound a bit desperate, to be honest. Not everyone is going to be your ideal client. Once you know who that is, you can be more choosy about who you talk to.

2. Where are you likely to meet them?

There are lots of places to meet people, but where will you find your ideal person – in a club, at evening classes, at the Bingo? Don’t just go to the first place you find, pick the event where you know the person you’re looking for is most likely to be.

3. Think about joining a dating agency so you can look through details of the other members.

Look at the members list of any group before joining if you can get hold of it ( ask for photographs if possible ). Also, look at the list of attendees before a meeting so you can make a beeline for the people you want to talk to.

4. Accept that it takes time to build a relationship.

Don’t expect too much too soon. People will need time to get to know and trust you and, in this case, you’re looking for a long term relationship, not a one – night stand.

5. Think of something interesting to say about yourself.

If someone asks you “ What do you do? “ don’t just say “ I’m a Financial Adviser “ or “ I’m a Consultant “ and expect them to swoon. Tell them what you do for people, how you help, the problems you solve. But don’t make things up to impress them, you’ll be found out sooner or later.

6. Don’t spend the whole time talking about yourself.

One secret for getting people to like you is to ask them about themselves. Be a great listener, not a great talker. People love talking about themselves, they don’t want to listen to you telling them how wonderful you are. Stop talking before they lose the will to live and ask a question. Prepare some good ones in advance so your mind doesn’t go blank. Avoid “ Do you come here often? “ or “ So what line of business are you in? “ Try to find something you both have in common.

7. Don’t be too pushy on your first date.

Just because someone shows an interest doesn’t mean you can bombard them with information about all your products or services. You’ll look too needy and that puts people off.

8. People always say they’ll ring, they never do.

Sad but true. Don’t rely on other people ringing you, make sure you get their number so you can call them. It’s much more important to get someone else’s business card than to give them your own. It gives you the initiative.

9. Keep your numbers in a little black book.

Set up a contact management system so you don’t lose the details of the people you meet. This might just be a card index or it might be sophisticated software. Whatever it is, have a system which you know how to use.

10. Keep in touch.

Do contact them again if you got on well, they want you to really. Call or write, refer back to your conversation and mention something they said. Send them an article about an interest they mentioned, it will show you were listening and you care about them. It’s amazing how many people go to networking events, then never follow up with the people they meet. Don’t expect “ love at first sight “, it takes several contacts before someone is likely to do business with you.

I hope that’s given you some ideas. Of course, you still have to remember the basics, such as dressing up a bit and cleaning your teeth, but that’s down to you.

And, of course, there is one big difference between networking and dating – with networking, you’re allowed to see lots of people at the same time!

Good luck.

About The Author
Alan Matthews is an experienced trained, coach and speaker specialising in communication skills for business owners. He is author of " Do You Come Here Often? How To Get More Clients By Successful Networking " and " Secrets Of A Professional Speaker " as well as numerous articles and reports, all available from http://www.trainofthought.org.uk.

Teamwork

by Rachel Davis

Want to pick up women? Get a friend to help you out! First, stand or sit a few feet away from a woman or group of women and seem to be having a light-hearted, joking disagreement with your pal. “You’re wrong!” “No, you are!” “I’m telling you, you don’t know what you’re talking about!” Then keep talking, but a little quieter so that the girl probably won’t hear, then say, “Fine by me!” Remember, don’t act really angry, act like a couple of friends jokingly disputing a small thing.

Now, go up to the woman you like (if she’s with a friend, either your buddy can try to pick up her friend or he can play wing man and keep the friend occupied while you hit on your babe) and say, “Excuse me, but we’re trying to settle a bet and we really need your help. We have agreed to let you settle the argument, and we’ll abide by whatever you say.” Now you’ve really got her attention, because she’s dying of curiosity to know what the bet is, and she’s flattered that you’re putting her in charge of casting the deciding vote for the argument. Then ask something like, “Ok, my buddy here says Marsha was the oldest daughter on The Brady Bunch, but I know she was the middle one.” Your pal can jump in here and say, “No way!” You don’t have to use The Brady Bunch, just pick some show that was a huge hit within the last 20 or 30 years that people still talk about and joke about, and that’s still played in reruns on TV. Don’t pick anything obscure – go for something that everybody knows the answer to. Other choices might be shows like “Cheers,” and you can bet that Norm was the name of the postman, while your friend thinks it was Cliff. Just pick something that for your age group and where you live, everybody is going to know the answer. If you pick a current show it won’t work as well, because it will seem like a set up if you don’t know the name of the biggest star on the biggest hit show on air now. But people do jokingly argue about things in older shows, and the nostalgia value of a show you loved growing up can get you – and the girl you want – laughing at the memory.

So now she’ll say something like, “I hate to break this to you, but your friend is right. Marsha was the oldest daughter.” Act a little shocked or let down, like, “Ah man! Are you sure? Well, all right, a bet’s a bet. It looks like I’m the one buying the next round,” you say this last part to your friend, making sure to smile and shake your head, maybe patting him on the shoulder – real friendly and casual. The woman’s probably laughing about the whole bet over a cheesy TV show – but that means she’s also entertained and enjoying herself. Now turn back to the woman and say, “Thanks for helping us out, we could’ve argued that all night. Seriously, we are that crazy! Let me pay you back, what are you drinking?” When she tells you and you order the drink, say, “Do you mind if we join you?” Since you’ve already made her laugh with your funny bet and you’ve bought her a drink, she won’t refuse a seat at her table. Make very sure that while you’re “arguing” the point with your friend before you talk to the woman in the first place that you don’t mention specifically what the bet is about – someone else may overhear and jump in to offer the answer, blowing your plan.

The great thing about this conversation starter, though, is it can work lots of places – it doesn’t have to be a bar. You can do this in a coffee shop and offer to buy a cup of coffee, you can do this in a fast food restaurant and say you owe the pal a beer or a coffee, then ask the ladies to join you (this may mean moving on to a coffee shop or bar, which is just fine!), and you can even do it in a park. There you’d say the bet was for a drink or snack of some sort from a street vender (if there is one in the park), or that you were heading to the coffee shop around the corner, and get her to come, too.

The next question is, now that you’ve got a hottie sitting down with you for a drink, what do you say now? Easy – check out "Conversation King" for step-by-step guidelines on how to keep the conversation flowing and bag your babe!

Flirting by Touch

by Sebastian Steele

Another person's touch is the most soothing form of contact that your body will even encounter... even when it makes you nervous or uncomfortable, you love the feel of a woman's touch. This is commonly referred to as "kino".

This works both ways... a woman loves a man's touch (if done properly), and YOU can learn how to use touching to your advantage to get the women that you want into bed!

Want to learn how? Keep reading...

Nothing sends across the message "I'm attracted to you" stronger than when a woman touches you repeatedly during conversation, it is the oldest and most powerful flirting technique that the world has ever seen. It makes you immediately warm up to her, get a very good feeling about her, and raises your interest in her significantly, doesn't it?

But why does it have this effect on you? How can you go from being slightly interested in a woman to being just shy of infatuated with her after a series of light touches and rubs?

You see, our minds are naturally programmed to respond to human touch in a positive way, which makes it a huge influence on who we are attracted to... even more so than what we see, hear, or smell. That means that by simply touching a woman correctly you can makes her more attracted to you than you could ever do with your looks, your words, and your cologne... combined!

Because of the structure of todays society, many of us are not as accustomed to touching as we should be, so much so that when someone we do not know very well DOES touch us, it comes as a surprise... a surprise that we won't soon forget.

Can you remember when a woman you had recently met was flirting with you by touch?

I'm sure you can.

She made a lasting impression on you, did she not? Just the fact that you still remember this woman demonstrates just how powerful touching can really be!

Now wouldn't you like to be able to have that same effect on the woman that you desire? The ability to make a first impression on her that is so strong that she will never forget about you? Damn right you would!

That is exactly what you'll learn to do with my Simple Seducer System. It is the most complete guide to picking up women EVER written, and I'm so confident that it will work for you that I'll give you the entire package completely FREE if you do not meet 10 hot women within 90 days!

Go to www.simpleseducer.com and see what I'm talking about, you have nothing to lose and a world of women to gain!

By Sebastian Steele
Author : Simple Seducer